Modern Luxury

What a weekend! Probably one of the best I've had in a good while. Food, folks, and fun. But not while driving...

Friday night, after I learned several steps of the Foxie to add to my repertoire, and after one too many manly stout beers at ye ol brewdoggery, I had to leave my car at a friends house. It ended up staying there the entire weekend, not exactly by choice, but I wasn't really going out of my way to retrieve my chariot of ire either. In all honesty, I was crossing my fingers and hoping to find a missing car upon my return. Thanks for not stealing my car, Cap City Hoods. I really didn't want to report that to insurance and receive a compensation check. I appreciate you not helping our fair city live up to its reputation.

Speaking of, crime is on a rampant spree this month. Between bank robberies, copper theft, and strip club raids, we're making quite the name for ourselves.

Upstairs ruling the shuffle is the Conquest EP by everyone's favorite pale & pasty kids, The White Stripes. To start, this little exclusive has their screamy cover of "Conquest" from the Icky Thump album, which as far as covers go stands alone worthy of rotation. Following this little Patti Page tribute are three songs recorded in Beck's living room. Wait...what? So Jack told Meg to show up at Beck's house and be ready to bash out some drums when he's ready for her, and Beck just has some recording equipment lying around, ready for his pals The White Stripes to stop by and lay down some jams? Pish posh! I've always pictured Beck's living room to be stacked with retro robots, all performing some type of menial task at his command. You know, no one really knows what happened to Soundwave since he was raped and bastardized into a no-named character in the current movie. He must be propped up next to Beck's fireplace, ready to record all the spur-of-the-moment jam sessions. The disc ends with a mariachi version of "Conquest," which is probably how all singles and EP's should end.

Oh, and I also got a Sham-Wow. You know, because of the Germans...