Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Mmm Mmm Gross

So this girl that sits near me at work totally smells like soup. She eats soup like nobody's business, so early as 10AM, and smells like it all day. I'm not sure if I can ever eat soup again.

One of my cohorts has a brilliant offer to view your name in blog form. That's right, get the inside line and be one of the first to pay to see your name on a blog. Or you can blogsearch your name and find 300 pages that have your name somewhere. When I blogsearch, I only find foreign people, most of them photographers.

What's with this Doomsday movie? Can we get yet another story about some government experiment gone wrong and some city left behind and one more good-guy antihero that goes in to cleanup the bad and rescue the good? This is a Milla Jovovich away from being Resident Evil for crying out loud. At least it has Malcom McDowell and Bob Hoskins in to british it up a bit.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Modern Luxury

What a weekend! Probably one of the best I've had in a good while. Food, folks, and fun. But not while driving...

Friday night, after I learned several steps of the Foxie to add to my repertoire, and after one too many manly stout beers at ye ol brewdoggery, I had to leave my car at a friends house. It ended up staying there the entire weekend, not exactly by choice, but I wasn't really going out of my way to retrieve my chariot of ire either. In all honesty, I was crossing my fingers and hoping to find a missing car upon my return. Thanks for not stealing my car, Cap City Hoods. I really didn't want to report that to insurance and receive a compensation check. I appreciate you not helping our fair city live up to its reputation.

Speaking of, crime is on a rampant spree this month. Between bank robberies, copper theft, and strip club raids, we're making quite the name for ourselves.

Upstairs ruling the shuffle is the Conquest EP by everyone's favorite pale & pasty kids, The White Stripes. To start, this little exclusive has their screamy cover of "Conquest" from the Icky Thump album, which as far as covers go stands alone worthy of rotation. Following this little Patti Page tribute are three songs recorded in Beck's living room. Wait...what? So Jack told Meg to show up at Beck's house and be ready to bash out some drums when he's ready for her, and Beck just has some recording equipment lying around, ready for his pals The White Stripes to stop by and lay down some jams? Pish posh! I've always pictured Beck's living room to be stacked with retro robots, all performing some type of menial task at his command. You know, no one really knows what happened to Soundwave since he was raped and bastardized into a no-named character in the current movie. He must be propped up next to Beck's fireplace, ready to record all the spur-of-the-moment jam sessions. The disc ends with a mariachi version of "Conquest," which is probably how all singles and EP's should end.

Oh, and I also got a Sham-Wow. You know, because of the Germans...

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

How low can you go?

What a disappointment on AI last night! It's a shame that the best performance comes from the total poser of the group, the one they consistently refer to as "a rocker." And why did the only black guy have to be a back-talking jerkface with a retarded lesiure suit?

Remember in middle-school (well, at least it was middle-school for me) when guys started loading their cars with giant subwoofers and amps and proceeded to drive around with mirror shaking, bowel evacuating, migraine inducing bass? Well, those guys live at the end of my street and apparently just got a new car. So now they like to pop the trunk and play basketball while their Christmas gift pumps out monotonous, droning beats from whatever hyphy, clipse, crunk, or hip-pop garbage their into. Too bad those guys can't get down with some DOOM. Maybe I'll spend a Saturday with the floor speaks in the windows. All capitals, no trick spellin.

Anyone coming this way, can you stop at the store and pick up my ticket to stardom?

Monday, February 18, 2008

Great Names in History

So far, this President's Day weekend has involved poker, Yahtzee, and Singstar Karaoke. Our founding fathers would be proud.

Speaking of Singstar, I am now the proud owner of the Amped version. I was immediately sold when I looked at the track list and saw Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, Alice in Chains AND Nirvana. The thought of singing any of those songs immediately sent me whirling back to my early teenage years when I wanted to be a frontman for a grunge band. Two songs into the evening I quickly realized why that dream never materialized. Singing "Alive" with a male counterpart sounded less like Eddie Vedder and more like Doug and his friends on "The State."

Now, when guests visit my house, we can entertain by pretending to be singers or pretending to play guitar. Yay make believe!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Unanimous

Josiah denied? I couldn't imagine this season without all the tears and faux brit slang. What a gyp.

So amazon gives me the best recommendations on a daily basis. Here's today's gem. Look at the amount of 5-star reviews!

Most of my day was spent watching this conversation:

"Mr. Clemens, are you a player in Major League Baseball?"
"Yes I am."
"And are you aware of a drug called steroids?"
"Yes I am."
"Mr. Clemens, are you saying, under oath, that you are a Major League Baseball player and you have knowledge of a drug called steroids?"

I'm pretty sure there was some kind of war going on today, and there might have been some issue with the economy. But thanks, Congressional hearing on steroids and baseball. Thanks for reminding me why we're American.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

New things I don't like

Here's some new things I don't like after watching American Idol:

- people who over enunciate when singing
- people who wear scarves indoors when it's obviously not cold
- people who are between the ages of 16-25 and say they've waited their whole lives for something (the younger, the worse)
- Bryan Adams, and anyone singing his songs
- my choice of TV shows

Monday, February 11, 2008

Bienvenidos

This online journal previously had a prettier residence. Then I got lazy.

I like this background, it reminds me of Dippin Dots, that space age ice cream you find at the mall. I always get the Cotton Candy flavor out of irresistble temptation, and then feel pretty sick once I'm at the bottom of the cup.