I'm not ashamed to admit, I have been a bit of a pro-wrestling fan in the past. I've gotten to see a lot of Wrestlemanias in my day. I saw almost everyone on VHS until I was in high school, then I started ordering them on PPV. Once I got to college, I met a resourceful young student who had come across a cable descrambler, and we watched EVERY event they had. Then I got bored with wrestling. Stone Cold left. The Rock left. Then this happened. Thanks, jabronies.
Jessica Simpson was hospitalized. Looks like her kidney was infected by demons.
I watched Serenity, MI: III, and Blades of Glory this weekend. All three were more entertaining than No Country for Old Men.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
No Country for Me
I watched "No Country for Old Men" last night. I had high hopes going in, which is always a bad sign for a first date with me and a movie.
To start, every critic nationwide has been having a joygasm over this flic. Don't believe me? Google "no country for old men review" and you'll probably find no more than 2 reputable critics that gave it a bad review. Now, I'm not one of those people who goes by star ratings and what critcs say about any form of entertainment. I think I've got a pretty keen eye for good movies, and the amount of wasted college education I spent in lit & film classes reassures my confidence that I can pick apart elements and styles and themes and whatever directors are trying to convey. But, I think if there's 100 people who have studied the same studies I've studied and read the same readings I've read, and 98 of them say a movie gets 9 thumbs up, there's not much reason I should feel any different.
Such is not the case. I can say what I enjoyed, which was the overall idea of evil being unstoppable and a necessary part of life. That's a realistic view that doesn't often get expressed without hiding deeply buried in some buckets-o-blood splatterfest hellbent on grossing people out of the theater. I also enjoyed the cinematography. What a perfect backdrop the barren and flat Texas landscape provides for a cat-and-mouse menage a trois between the film's major characters.
Joel and Ethan, I just didn't like it, and for that, I'm sorry. I feel I have to apologize because of how much I love "O Brother" and "Lebowski." I've also been pining to see this since I first heard "new film from the Coen brothers" booming out of my speakers. Overall, I just thought it was boring. Sure, Javier Bardem was the evil-personified "unstoppable force," but he didn't have any depth or flare to his homicidal persona. He just killed people. Yeah, there's one scene where he calls a guy "friendo" and two that death is preceded by sort of a catch-speech-phrase and a coin toss, but not enough to make me and my friends go around quoting it like Eziekel 25:17. I really don't want to go rehashing why I thought it was boring, I'll just end up singling out Josh Brolin or Tommy Lee Jones or different pivotal points in the movie and just repeat myself. I think it was just boring. Now I'm afraid to watch "There Will Be Blood." I've heard so many good things.
On a weird side note, anytime I'm writing a text message, my T9 thinks that when i type "by" I'm typing "Byzantine." How often does that enter an average text message?
To start, every critic nationwide has been having a joygasm over this flic. Don't believe me? Google "no country for old men review" and you'll probably find no more than 2 reputable critics that gave it a bad review. Now, I'm not one of those people who goes by star ratings and what critcs say about any form of entertainment. I think I've got a pretty keen eye for good movies, and the amount of wasted college education I spent in lit & film classes reassures my confidence that I can pick apart elements and styles and themes and whatever directors are trying to convey. But, I think if there's 100 people who have studied the same studies I've studied and read the same readings I've read, and 98 of them say a movie gets 9 thumbs up, there's not much reason I should feel any different.
Such is not the case. I can say what I enjoyed, which was the overall idea of evil being unstoppable and a necessary part of life. That's a realistic view that doesn't often get expressed without hiding deeply buried in some buckets-o-blood splatterfest hellbent on grossing people out of the theater. I also enjoyed the cinematography. What a perfect backdrop the barren and flat Texas landscape provides for a cat-and-mouse menage a trois between the film's major characters.
Joel and Ethan, I just didn't like it, and for that, I'm sorry. I feel I have to apologize because of how much I love "O Brother" and "Lebowski." I've also been pining to see this since I first heard "new film from the Coen brothers" booming out of my speakers. Overall, I just thought it was boring. Sure, Javier Bardem was the evil-personified "unstoppable force," but he didn't have any depth or flare to his homicidal persona. He just killed people. Yeah, there's one scene where he calls a guy "friendo" and two that death is preceded by sort of a catch-speech-phrase and a coin toss, but not enough to make me and my friends go around quoting it like Eziekel 25:17. I really don't want to go rehashing why I thought it was boring, I'll just end up singling out Josh Brolin or Tommy Lee Jones or different pivotal points in the movie and just repeat myself. I think it was just boring. Now I'm afraid to watch "There Will Be Blood." I've heard so many good things.
On a weird side note, anytime I'm writing a text message, my T9 thinks that when i type "by" I'm typing "Byzantine." How often does that enter an average text message?
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Sending our Love Down a Well
So today a little girl was rescued after somehow falling down a well and being trapped for 27 hours. I was stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes one day, so I kind of have an idea of how she felt. At least she was by herself and not standing next to 3 unshowered fat women. Watching this story over and over every 30 minutes on Headline News reminded me of probably the most famous kid-in-a-well story, Baby Jessica.
In 1987, not even two-years old Jessica McClure fell down a well in Texas. I remember the event vividly, oddly enough, not because I have a sister roughly the same age, but because it happened right around the opening night for the Toys R Us in my hometown. I remember standing in line with my parents waiting to get in and people discussing Jessica's rescue that had happened earlier that day. I think that night I bought a Boglin. That was 21 years ago, and even back then people would talk about the story or see it on the news and say "Who falls down a well these days" or "Who has an open well and lets their kids play around it these days." Apparently, in 21 years this story never made its way to India, as they've had 6 kids fall down wells in the past 2 years. Do they have the internet there? Or ABC TV Movies? That's a world without Beau Bridges, and that's not fit for me.
Check out the Wikipedia page on Jessica McClure, most notably the life directions of the two rescue workers. One suicide, one crazy rap sheet. What?
In 1987, not even two-years old Jessica McClure fell down a well in Texas. I remember the event vividly, oddly enough, not because I have a sister roughly the same age, but because it happened right around the opening night for the Toys R Us in my hometown. I remember standing in line with my parents waiting to get in and people discussing Jessica's rescue that had happened earlier that day. I think that night I bought a Boglin. That was 21 years ago, and even back then people would talk about the story or see it on the news and say "Who falls down a well these days" or "Who has an open well and lets their kids play around it these days." Apparently, in 21 years this story never made its way to India, as they've had 6 kids fall down wells in the past 2 years. Do they have the internet there? Or ABC TV Movies? That's a world without Beau Bridges, and that's not fit for me.
Check out the Wikipedia page on Jessica McClure, most notably the life directions of the two rescue workers. One suicide, one crazy rap sheet. What?
Monday, March 24, 2008
Lucy in the Sky with High Definition
I watched "Across the Universe" this weekend. I had read and seen and heard a great deal about the film, and honestly had no idea that it was a musical. Almost everything I had seen or heard or read did not mention the word "musical" anywhere in the context. I remember seeing the trailer when I went to see the third Spider-Man, and I thought "wow, that looks like something that would look pretty sweet on a big screen." Visually, parts of the film are mind blowing, like the scene depicting one character's military enlistment accompanied by "I Want You (She's So Heavy)." Parts of the film are also really corny and cheesy, like most of the more upbeat songs that turn the movie into one of those "medly" moments from American Idol. Parts of the film have Salma Hayeck dressed as a naughty nurse. I enjoyed it, and would recommend it to others, if you like The Beatles. Or trippy digital-animation musicals. Or naughty nurses.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Giving Back
Our neighborhood's recycling picks up every Wednesday. Feeling all bright-eyed and busy-tailed, I rushed outside at about 7:20 AM to set my tubs at the curb. One was full of cans and bottles, the other full of cardboard. The night before I had broken down all the cardboard and packed it together, really secure, and went to bed feeling great about myself and how I was helping our environment. As I drove off to work that morning, I kind of beamed back at the bins, as if to say "I'm one of those people now."
About 4:00 PM I received a text message from my wife reading "did u put something heavy on the recycling," to which I responded "no, why." She wrote back, "i'll let u come see."
There was cardboard all over my street. All of our recent purchases from Costco and the boxes they gave us to carry things. As I look out my window tonight, I can still see a Diet Pepsi box wrapped around my neighbor's tree, waiving back at me. My apologies, Gaia.
About 4:00 PM I received a text message from my wife reading "did u put something heavy on the recycling," to which I responded "no, why." She wrote back, "i'll let u come see."
There was cardboard all over my street. All of our recent purchases from Costco and the boxes they gave us to carry things. As I look out my window tonight, I can still see a Diet Pepsi box wrapped around my neighbor's tree, waiving back at me. My apologies, Gaia.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Yuck of the Irish
I've been told I have Irish lineage. Then again, who doesn't anymore? So with my preconceived notion that I'm some part Irish, I always feel the need to gulp a few pints on St. Patrick's Day. Maybe it's just because I like beer, maybe it's because I can enjoy a frothy Irish stout any given time of day...I'm not really sure where my love for the holiday originates. Either way, I usually go an extra length to be at a bar/pub/ale house at some point on the 17th and down a few. More and more I've learned:
People use St. Patrick's Day as an excuse to be total jackasses.
Luckily, this was accompanied by girls with shamrocks on their boobs.
People use St. Patrick's Day as an excuse to be total jackasses.
Luckily, this was accompanied by girls with shamrocks on their boobs.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Facebore
Social networking. I consider myself a vet when it comes to internet communication. My family purchased a household computer around 93, and with it came a trial subscription for AOL. That turned into a monthly bill and I spent many a late night chatting, IM-ing, and emailing at 14.4 kbps. Soon I was off to college and thrust into the glory of e-mail, AIM and ICQ. I could sit down at my computer, ready to churn out a 10-page comparison of Yojimbo and Darth Vader, and stay connected with friends old and new, high school chums and college classmates. I never lost touch with anyone, whether I wanted to or not.
Then I graduated, and networking evolved. During the two or so years after college I, along with most of my buddy list, found jobs that may have frowned upon running IMs or kept us away from computers entirely. Long gone are the days of simple e-mail and IM. New waves of "social networking," as dubbed by the media, rolled in one after another. Friendster, Myspace, Facebook, Twitter...all of this on top of mobile communication through texting and chirping. You either rode the wave of the future or stayed true to your old ways. All of the sudden, e-mails became too much work for certain friends. Others disappeared from your chat programs. Then, you fold and give way to a social networking site or two. Like me, you spent some good time decorating your page, whether it's tabled and homogonized like Facebook or looks like 1998 HTML-vomit like Myspace. You search for old friends, find new ones, add them all to your list, and viola...you're up with the times. You come home, day after day, checking your friends' updates and posting new and cool little widgets...and you slowly realize...the people you talk with on your social sites are the people you talk with every day regardless of internet access. Most of the other friends on your pages don't have time to sit and wait for all your crazy backgrounds and 3rd party links and gizmos to simply drop a line after they've already waited on the friends of higher priority (which is fine, there's nothing wrong with prioritzing friends, I'll fully admit that I do it).
My advice from all this: unless you're between the ages of 17-22 or are in the entertainment industry, don't even bother. Sure, it looks all cool and sexy, like smoking or strip clubs...but there's nothing but heartbreak and disappointment behind those bedroom eyes. You'll spend countless days logging in to your page, making sure everything you add says something about you, looking for acceptance from all of your friend requests. You'll reach out to old friends, but only hear from current ones, and after about a month and a half, you slide back into e-mailing and IM's with your usual suspects. The only real benefit from your remaining Myspace or Facebook page is that if you turn up missing or get involved in a hot political scandal, CNN and FOX News and MSNBC will have your page as the focal point of their daily broadcast for about a week. And your pictures will be scrolling by every 20 minutes.
So, like mom said, remember to wear clean underwear.
Then I graduated, and networking evolved. During the two or so years after college I, along with most of my buddy list, found jobs that may have frowned upon running IMs or kept us away from computers entirely. Long gone are the days of simple e-mail and IM. New waves of "social networking," as dubbed by the media, rolled in one after another. Friendster, Myspace, Facebook, Twitter...all of this on top of mobile communication through texting and chirping. You either rode the wave of the future or stayed true to your old ways. All of the sudden, e-mails became too much work for certain friends. Others disappeared from your chat programs. Then, you fold and give way to a social networking site or two. Like me, you spent some good time decorating your page, whether it's tabled and homogonized like Facebook or looks like 1998 HTML-vomit like Myspace. You search for old friends, find new ones, add them all to your list, and viola...you're up with the times. You come home, day after day, checking your friends' updates and posting new and cool little widgets...and you slowly realize...the people you talk with on your social sites are the people you talk with every day regardless of internet access. Most of the other friends on your pages don't have time to sit and wait for all your crazy backgrounds and 3rd party links and gizmos to simply drop a line after they've already waited on the friends of higher priority (which is fine, there's nothing wrong with prioritzing friends, I'll fully admit that I do it).
My advice from all this: unless you're between the ages of 17-22 or are in the entertainment industry, don't even bother. Sure, it looks all cool and sexy, like smoking or strip clubs...but there's nothing but heartbreak and disappointment behind those bedroom eyes. You'll spend countless days logging in to your page, making sure everything you add says something about you, looking for acceptance from all of your friend requests. You'll reach out to old friends, but only hear from current ones, and after about a month and a half, you slide back into e-mailing and IM's with your usual suspects. The only real benefit from your remaining Myspace or Facebook page is that if you turn up missing or get involved in a hot political scandal, CNN and FOX News and MSNBC will have your page as the focal point of their daily broadcast for about a week. And your pictures will be scrolling by every 20 minutes.
So, like mom said, remember to wear clean underwear.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
PSA
A lot of blurry photos depict creatures that star in our favorite myths and legends, but I think this one should be taken seriously. Why does he walk sideways? What's with the hat? What the hell is going on here? Normally I don't take it too seriously when the Sun's reporting, but this was linked from FOX News, and I trust them like I trust the government.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Can you swing a sack of Doorknobs?
What's going on with vigilante justice? When I was a kid, the vigilante term wasn't thrown around so loosely as it is today. Those who took the law into their own hands were either friendly neighborhood webslingers, millionaire orphans, or gun-wielding nutjobs on the subway. Nowadays, their dorks with too much time and money on their hands.
Look at this clown and his mobile super soaker. This goon rolls around a trash can full of icy water with a walkie-talkie and blasts bums and low-rent dope pushers. Way to go Barney Fife. Maybe your next bot can be a helicopter that drops water balloons on purse snatchers and speeding vechicles.
Then there's the web's latest auteur, rolling around town filming johns with hookers and broadcasting his findings on his website, aptly named JohnTV. This just gives us more internet video of ugly people. As if YouTube and ABC weren't bad enough, now we have JohnTV providing an on-foot mashup of COPS, Jerry Springer, and those HBO documentaries about the seedy underbelly of life.
Maybe if these guys wore masks, I'd be more supportive. Then I could put them on a lunchbox.
Look at this clown and his mobile super soaker. This goon rolls around a trash can full of icy water with a walkie-talkie and blasts bums and low-rent dope pushers. Way to go Barney Fife. Maybe your next bot can be a helicopter that drops water balloons on purse snatchers and speeding vechicles.
Then there's the web's latest auteur, rolling around town filming johns with hookers and broadcasting his findings on his website, aptly named JohnTV. This just gives us more internet video of ugly people. As if YouTube and ABC weren't bad enough, now we have JohnTV providing an on-foot mashup of COPS, Jerry Springer, and those HBO documentaries about the seedy underbelly of life.
Maybe if these guys wore masks, I'd be more supportive. Then I could put them on a lunchbox.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Tek Suhporte
I bought this steaming piece of garbage this weekend so my wife could put mp3s from my computer on her phone as ringtones. Apparently, her LG Shine won't show up on the computer's bluetooth scan (weak) and this is the alternative. The card won't work at all. It shows in my multi-card reader but says it's "write protected," which makes sense, because that's the only thing anyone would want to do with it. I e-mailed their support as directed by the website, and no joke, this is their response:
"which micro sd card you have?
and have you install any update to the computers card reader that available?"
Thanks Hector. All of my problems will be solved with your broken english. To avoid this expected conversation, I had posed the issue to two tech-savvy amigos and scoured the web for any alternate advice. The sole shred of assistance that anyone could offer is "put a piece of tape over the locking mechanism, you might need two or three pieces."
I'm sorry, tape? What fucking year is it? To up the ante and quote one of my previously mentioned savvy sailors, "can you drill a hole in it and get 1200mb?" Retards. Yeah, I'll put tape over it right after I download some Microsoft Plus themes and check my AOL account. Keyword "blowme."
"which micro sd card you have?
and have you install any update to the computers card reader that available?"
Thanks Hector. All of my problems will be solved with your broken english. To avoid this expected conversation, I had posed the issue to two tech-savvy amigos and scoured the web for any alternate advice. The sole shred of assistance that anyone could offer is "put a piece of tape over the locking mechanism, you might need two or three pieces."
I'm sorry, tape? What fucking year is it? To up the ante and quote one of my previously mentioned savvy sailors, "can you drill a hole in it and get 1200mb?" Retards. Yeah, I'll put tape over it right after I download some Microsoft Plus themes and check my AOL account. Keyword "blowme."
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Poison Apple
Ok, I've never been pro-mac or pro-anything else. I've used both to the extent that I'm not afraid of a new OS and therefore won't begin bashing anything I don't know. Like those people that sit in front of a mac and can't understand how to eject a disc and then start screaming "Macs suck, you suck, I hate me" and run off crying into the darkness. I own a Windows machine, and I also have two iPods in my home, so I'm no stranger to either. This weekend, one of my comrades became the proud owner of a macbook while another received an iPod touch from his special lady, and the latter already owns a macbook pro. This past summer, another of my friends bought an iPhone. So now I have a much larger apple-envy bug. I love my iPod, but I'm already wanting to replace it. My phone comes up for renewal, and I'm looking at iPhones, even though I know they suck. My computer has lasted for 7+ years, and I'm looking at macbooks. Here's the problem:
I don't want to spend the money.
I use my computer for e-mail, internet, and storing mp3s and pictures. That's it. I have all this ridiculous software that I don't use, and I really don't want to spend more money on a piece of machinery that allows me to do the exact same crap that I'm already doing with ease. It's like when you were a kid and you had a bike. It was good to you, it took you everywhere you wanted to go, and at one point it looked brand new and made all the other kids jealous. Then, 2 years later, you got tired of it simply because you had been looking at it for 2 years, and no matter how you tried to wash it or paint it or put Tony the Tiger reflectors in the spokes, it just looked like crap. Then later on you're migrating from riding a bike to driving a car, and you really don't want to get another bike because you know you'll never ride it, but some of your friends who are the same age have this kick-ass mountain bikes and they look really cool and you start thinking "I should buy one of those." Which leads to my next problem:
I can't let go of things that I want.
It's true. That's why I have so many jackets and pairs of shoes. That's why I bought 2 LCD TV's. That's why I'm so fixated on an xbox360 AND a wii. My obsession will get the better of me, and I'm certain that down the road, I'll be the proud owner of some other apple product.
Outside of my affluenza, I made this tasty pork tenderloin earlier this week, which has turned into an even better dish. Guess what I'm having for dinner tonight...
I don't want to spend the money.
I use my computer for e-mail, internet, and storing mp3s and pictures. That's it. I have all this ridiculous software that I don't use, and I really don't want to spend more money on a piece of machinery that allows me to do the exact same crap that I'm already doing with ease. It's like when you were a kid and you had a bike. It was good to you, it took you everywhere you wanted to go, and at one point it looked brand new and made all the other kids jealous. Then, 2 years later, you got tired of it simply because you had been looking at it for 2 years, and no matter how you tried to wash it or paint it or put Tony the Tiger reflectors in the spokes, it just looked like crap. Then later on you're migrating from riding a bike to driving a car, and you really don't want to get another bike because you know you'll never ride it, but some of your friends who are the same age have this kick-ass mountain bikes and they look really cool and you start thinking "I should buy one of those." Which leads to my next problem:
I can't let go of things that I want.
It's true. That's why I have so many jackets and pairs of shoes. That's why I bought 2 LCD TV's. That's why I'm so fixated on an xbox360 AND a wii. My obsession will get the better of me, and I'm certain that down the road, I'll be the proud owner of some other apple product.
Outside of my affluenza, I made this tasty pork tenderloin earlier this week, which has turned into an even better dish. Guess what I'm having for dinner tonight...
Thursday, March 6, 2008
The Dirty Dozen
My favorite karaoke night eliminated their last 4 before going one-at-a-time on us. I think the goal is to make the top 12, even if you're the next one voted after the touring group is decided. Beatbox McGee came back to perform on tonight's last double-diss show, proving to everyone why he didn't win last year. What a boring song! That guy wants to be JJ Tims so bad it's ridiculous. I feel like somewhere some mad scientist took JJ and Rahzel and spliced their dna to make this amazing beatboxing dance machine, and this is the leftover. What the hell was that suit made of...audio tape? What a clown!
So I lost out on the one acting gig I thought was a sure thing. I guess Gravy will do a better visual, but I really thought I had it locked.
ESPN finally quit their Brett Favre memorial and went back to reporting on the closeout of NCAA's regular b-ball season. Thanks for getting back to what matters, jerks.
How the hell old is Britney Spears? Why are her parents in so much control? Is she a Culkin?
So I lost out on the one acting gig I thought was a sure thing. I guess Gravy will do a better visual, but I really thought I had it locked.
ESPN finally quit their Brett Favre memorial and went back to reporting on the closeout of NCAA's regular b-ball season. Thanks for getting back to what matters, jerks.
How the hell old is Britney Spears? Why are her parents in so much control? Is she a Culkin?
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
R.I.P +12
Today is a dark day in geek world, as it marks the passing of Gary Gygax, the brilliant brain behind Dungeons & Dragons. I'll admit, I never really got into RPG's unless they involved completing the tri-force, and I didn't really know who Gary Gygax was until that episode of Futurama. But if it weren't for Gary, we would never have had that sweet Saturday morning cartoon that was way too adult themed for our impressionable minds. We also would never have had this little gem of hilarity.
It's a sad day in jock world as well, as Brett Favre announced that he's finally hanging up the cleats. I'll have to take him out of my pre-season Fantasy Football draft pick list, if I actually played.
So check out that Public Enemy album ruling the shuffle. That's the longest title I've ever had to say. It's worth every word though. Too bad more rap artists can't make full albums as good as this one. Makes you wonder why Flav needs to do reality TV. Oh yeah, the paying public has no taste. Give it a purchase or a download or however you absorb music into your collection. It'll tide you over until Guilty Simpson's debut drops. I don't care what pitckfork says, that guy rules.
I'm going to miss Deron Washington next year. So will YouTube posters at Virginia Tech.
It's a sad day in jock world as well, as Brett Favre announced that he's finally hanging up the cleats. I'll have to take him out of my pre-season Fantasy Football draft pick list, if I actually played.
So check out that Public Enemy album ruling the shuffle. That's the longest title I've ever had to say. It's worth every word though. Too bad more rap artists can't make full albums as good as this one. Makes you wonder why Flav needs to do reality TV. Oh yeah, the paying public has no taste. Give it a purchase or a download or however you absorb music into your collection. It'll tide you over until Guilty Simpson's debut drops. I don't care what pitckfork says, that guy rules.
I'm going to miss Deron Washington next year. So will YouTube posters at Virginia Tech.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
High Definition Addictivision
My friend's special lady says I have a TV problem. Maybe so, because now the hooterbox needs a new home.
Just got back from some hilarious stand-up comedy. It was a showcase sponsored by Jameson, which seems like a great idea. So many comics dig inspiration from broken relationships, messy divorces, troubled childhoods...why not load them up with free whiskey and shove them out on stage. "Here you go boozy, booze it up and booze out your problems for our amusement." Makes for a good show though.
Just got back from some hilarious stand-up comedy. It was a showcase sponsored by Jameson, which seems like a great idea. So many comics dig inspiration from broken relationships, messy divorces, troubled childhoods...why not load them up with free whiskey and shove them out on stage. "Here you go boozy, booze it up and booze out your problems for our amusement." Makes for a good show though.
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