Thursday, June 25, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Help Wanted
Apparently, rumors have run rampant about Stephen Sommers losing his director's chair on the set of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. If Paramount's having trouble filling that void, I'm always looking for work.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Life got too Hard
(image courtesy of g4tv.com)
What the crap happened to Max Payne? He looks homeless.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Death from Above
Last night on the MTV Movie Awards, Sacha Baron Cohen gave Eminem an airborne tea-bag dressed as an angel. No need for detail, see for yourself, and read the thousand other articles about it.
Em's visible discomfort echoes sentiments that he was the only one not in on the prank. MTV had well placed cameramen and about a dozen mics on Bruno to be sure they got every piece of dialogue and every shot of the shock and terror in Slim's eyes. Why MTV would do this for anything other than immediate ratings boost and the following wave of internet buzz that's been abound today (and yes, to which I'm contributing) has yet to supersede the debate over whether or not the stunt was entirely staged. MTV and most all of it's music-related programming have suffered a severe drop in recent years. In the decade that Eminem has served as a presence in the music industry, MTV has lost the "Music" from "Music Television" and replaced it with reality show upon reality show. Eminem exists as one of the few forces in pop music that doesn't get immediately cast aside by critics and yet can pander so easily to the short attention span demographic upon which MTV depends. If Slim was in on the whole deal, he needs to drop rapping (after the less than mediocre comeback of "Relapse") and jump back into acting whole-heartedly.
While Eminem at once seemed infallible to both critics and fans alike, he lost a good bit of his edge around "Encore," either due to mounting drug problems, untreated psychological issues, or a simple lack of need to vent. Sure, he's poked fun at more than his fare share of real people (mostly tabloid celebrities and family members), but a broad search of "Eminem" and "sexual assault" will only turn up lyrics, not youtube footage of Slim bare-assedly lapdancing an unwilling victim's face. Sacha Baron Cohen took the comedic world by storm through his Andy Kaufman-esque "all the world's a stage" characters of Ali G, Borat, and the now-unnecessarily famous Bruno. While his comedy may rouse critical calls of "innovative" and "brilliant," it generally comes by way of a mean-sprited, catch-em-in-the-act ruse exploiting the flaws of all Americans. Eminem has received many a call of "can dish it but can't take it," but Sunday's stunt was not the time to force Slim to face his come-uppins. Eminem now exists (supposedly) as a product of rehab, a man struggling with demons and trying (at least for himself and his daughter) to make some form of amends with his self-destructive past.
Either one of two outcomes will most likely result from the 2009 MTV Movie Awards and their flying assfaced homophobic brouhaha - Slim's going to come back against Bruno, starting with the obligatory diss-rap and escalating to an ongoing feud, either leading back to drug abuse or physical retaliation. On the other hand, we may just have lost public appearance from Eminem for good, and America will stand behind the supposed victor, a man who, had been anyone other than Cohen and targeting anyone other than Eminem, would be staring down charges of sexual assault and public lewdness.
Watching the whole thing made me uncomfortable, plain and simple.
Em's visible discomfort echoes sentiments that he was the only one not in on the prank. MTV had well placed cameramen and about a dozen mics on Bruno to be sure they got every piece of dialogue and every shot of the shock and terror in Slim's eyes. Why MTV would do this for anything other than immediate ratings boost and the following wave of internet buzz that's been abound today (and yes, to which I'm contributing) has yet to supersede the debate over whether or not the stunt was entirely staged. MTV and most all of it's music-related programming have suffered a severe drop in recent years. In the decade that Eminem has served as a presence in the music industry, MTV has lost the "Music" from "Music Television" and replaced it with reality show upon reality show. Eminem exists as one of the few forces in pop music that doesn't get immediately cast aside by critics and yet can pander so easily to the short attention span demographic upon which MTV depends. If Slim was in on the whole deal, he needs to drop rapping (after the less than mediocre comeback of "Relapse") and jump back into acting whole-heartedly.
While Eminem at once seemed infallible to both critics and fans alike, he lost a good bit of his edge around "Encore," either due to mounting drug problems, untreated psychological issues, or a simple lack of need to vent. Sure, he's poked fun at more than his fare share of real people (mostly tabloid celebrities and family members), but a broad search of "Eminem" and "sexual assault" will only turn up lyrics, not youtube footage of Slim bare-assedly lapdancing an unwilling victim's face. Sacha Baron Cohen took the comedic world by storm through his Andy Kaufman-esque "all the world's a stage" characters of Ali G, Borat, and the now-unnecessarily famous Bruno. While his comedy may rouse critical calls of "innovative" and "brilliant," it generally comes by way of a mean-sprited, catch-em-in-the-act ruse exploiting the flaws of all Americans. Eminem has received many a call of "can dish it but can't take it," but Sunday's stunt was not the time to force Slim to face his come-uppins. Eminem now exists (supposedly) as a product of rehab, a man struggling with demons and trying (at least for himself and his daughter) to make some form of amends with his self-destructive past.
Either one of two outcomes will most likely result from the 2009 MTV Movie Awards and their flying assfaced homophobic brouhaha - Slim's going to come back against Bruno, starting with the obligatory diss-rap and escalating to an ongoing feud, either leading back to drug abuse or physical retaliation. On the other hand, we may just have lost public appearance from Eminem for good, and America will stand behind the supposed victor, a man who, had been anyone other than Cohen and targeting anyone other than Eminem, would be staring down charges of sexual assault and public lewdness.
Watching the whole thing made me uncomfortable, plain and simple.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Troubled Times
So, this week marked every stoner's favorite day in April, along with the release of "Asleep in the Bread Aisle" from America's newest thief of black music, Asher Roth. I've listened to what I can...and let's just cut right to it. We don't need this. We, as the listeners of music, be it shuffling through our iTards or forced on us in between advertisements for Extenze and Payday Loans, do not need to hear anything as good as what you can offer (Lark in my Go Kart) or as annoying (I Love College). Check out the samples on Amazon, hit up the "Greenhouse Effect" mixtape, or torrent the new release...it's all pretty much the same. Be sure to go out and read a bunch of interviews where Asher says "I'm not trying to sound like Em" and "I rep the suburbs" and then listen to how he COMPLETELY BITES Eminem's vocal sound and you'll want to do some drive-by ass-whoopins in your local subdivisions. Once you get done, go pick up the more aspiring sets from The Knux, K'naan, or the newest DOOM, and wash that stupid blunt-cruisin crap out of your ears. Hit up Weiss or Pitchfork for a calmer, better worded and more responsive review.
If this torture wasn't enough, I watched "Wanted" this weekend. I'll save you the trouble, here's the only worthwhile clip:
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