Help Wanted

Apparently, rumors have run rampant about Stephen Sommers losing his director's chair on the set of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. If Paramount's having trouble filling that void, I'm always looking for work.

Life got too Hard

(image courtesy of g4tv.com)


What the crap happened to Max Payne? He looks homeless.

Troubled Times

So, this week marked every stoner's favorite day in April, along with the release of "Asleep in the Bread Aisle" from America's newest thief of black music, Asher Roth. I've listened to what I can...and let's just cut right to it. We don't need this. We, as the listeners of music, be it shuffling through our iTards or forced on us in between advertisements for Extenze and Payday Loans, do not need to hear anything as good as what you can offer (Lark in my Go Kart) or as annoying (I Love College). Check out the samples on Amazon, hit up the "Greenhouse Effect" mixtape, or torrent the new release...it's all pretty much the same. Be sure to go out and read a bunch of interviews where Asher says "I'm not trying to sound like Em" and "I rep the suburbs" and then listen to how he COMPLETELY BITES Eminem's vocal sound and you'll want to do some drive-by ass-whoopins in your local subdivisions. Once you get done, go pick up the more aspiring sets from The Knux, K'naan, or the newest DOOM, and wash that stupid blunt-cruisin crap out of your ears. Hit up Weiss or Pitchfork for a calmer, better worded and more responsive review.



If this torture wasn't enough, I watched "Wanted" this weekend. I'll save you the trouble, here's the only worthwhile clip:

Popcorn Playas

Blackout 2 scheduled to drop April 28th? That's what the latest news is...and really, that's a team-up I can always enjoy. Rarely will I skip over a Meth and/or Red track. Muddy Waters could very well be my favorite late-90s diamond-in-the-rough type album. This dynamic duo's first outing, "How High" from the soundtrack to The Show, is probably the only reason I kept the album, not to mention the driving force behind it's heavy rotation many a Saturday night in my formative high school years. Weiss has a some linkage to their new track, "City Lights," which really just makes me want to pack a bowl and hit the streets. Immature? Yes, but I'm harkening back to my teenage self. Check out Meth & Red, dressed as Beavis & Butthead. High-larious.

Funniest Thing I've Seen in a Long Time

and...



Sheer Brilliance.

Brand Loyalty

According to hiphopDX, Kid Cudi was tasered and arrested at the NBA All-Star Weekend event in Cleveland. Early word is Cudi was scheduled to perform at a party hosted by Reebok, and a fight broke out because Cudi wanted to wear his Air Jordans, threatening to stomp a Nike swoosh all over Reebok's stage. Obviously, this disagreement was worth a fight erupting between Cudi's crew and promoters.

If I were Nike, I'd be all over this promotion. Cudi took 20,000 volts in support of brand loyalty.

Please proceed in "don't tase me bro" jokes.

It Was All a Dream

So, a couple weeks ago, the biopic "Notorious" hit theaters. Mixed reviews abound, I haven't seen it yet (don't get to most movies until it's DVD time) but intend to, mostly because I find the story incredibly fascinating. People Magazine recently revisited it, with interviews with Momma Smalls and NYPD's Derrick Parker. It's worth a skim, but I'm more partial to an in-depth story done in an early millenium issue of Rolling Stone by Randall Sullivan. The story begins with a so-unbelievable-it-can't-be-real shootout between two LAPD cops, Frank Lyga and Kevin Gaines, and continues through the eyes of lead investigator Russell Poole, who eventually worked on and was shut out from both the Biggie and Tupac murders. The Notorious B.I.G story was optioned for a film not too long after this surfaced in 01, and I always envisioned the movie being told from this aspect. From what I've read it's not, which I'm sure is largely due to Puff Doodle Cheez's influence in the producer role. Either way, the 12 year anniversary of this tragic loss to hip-hop approaches us in early March.

Elsewhere, Lil Wayne leaked the first track from his upcoming rock album. I'm always up for some new Weezy, and I haven't made up my mind about this, but I'm sure once pop radio gets the refined album cut, it'll have the girls rockin out of their hopples. Listen for yourself.

Cover

It's said that The Roots are retiring from the road to be the backing band on "Late Night" when Conan gives up the seat to Jimmy Fallon. I'm not sure why Jimmy Fallon has to be involved in this...I guess "Late Night" is switching to a more impression-based format. Maybe they'll have a tribute to Rich Little on every night. So, barring any future bus accidents, if you get a chance, catch ?uestlove, Black Thought, Tuba Gooding Jr, and the rest of the P5D when you can. I've seen them twice, and they put on an all out jamfest. Plus, you might get treated to a rarity like this:



Cee-Lo should cover everything. I want an album of him, ?uestlove, and Jack White belting out covers.

Word to ya Mutha

So last night I watched "Entourage," turned off my TV and went to bed. Came home from work today, turned the TV back on, it was still on HBO from the night before, and playing "Cool As Ice." That's unfuckingbelievable.

I thought this was a holiday...

(above: Obama and The Cool Kids)

I don't floss as hard, but I hope Chuck & Mikey would think I do. An unbelievable amount of people asked me if today was a Federal Holiday or Bank Holiday. After standing in and reading about ridiculous lines to make three choices on a paper ballot, I'm starting to think it should be. Either way, I'm just glad they let me vote this year, so I can bitch and moan like the rest of America for the next 4 years. Seriously though, at my precinct, you filled out a ballot with a BIC pen. In a high-school cafeteria no less. For a minute, I thought I was voting for Class President. What fucking country is this?

In other news, my new music crush is on Jenny Lewis:



(props to dhh for the link)

You Can Parody Whatever You Like

I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a fan of Weird Al. I am slightly ashamed to admit the amount of time I've spent watching his videos online. But if not for that, I wouldn't have found this little gem. Al has parodied T.I.'s Whatever You Like and made it all about our failing economy. Now this pops into my head every time I take my wife to Target. "Oh look there's the dollar bin...baby you can have whatever you liiiiike."



On a side note, Eminem released a track (freestyle, I guess) to get the internet all worked up about his new album "Relapse," due out sometime after Chinese Democracy. Reminds me of the early Shady, I think we need him back. Listen here (courtesy of hiphopDX).

I know that's kind of old news, I'm still high off the Beastie Boys set. Or Halloween candy.

Get Out and Vote '08

So I went to the Get Out and Vote '08 tour last night. For those not in a swing state, this is a concert tour hosted by the Beastie Boys featuring various acts, all encouraging people to register to vote. They claim it's for either side, but I'm pretty sure there weren't ANY McCain/Palin supporters on stage. Not to mention I heard Obama's name half a dozen times (as Mike D would say..."noyce") throughout the politically charged sidebars. The show in my town had NY's own, along with Sheryl Crow, Jack Johnson, Norah Jones, and Santogold. Here's how the show went along:

Santogold put on a good set, considering people were barely in the place as she was playing. Basically her with two dancers and a DJ, she did a solid showing of her current album.

Norah Jones...beautiful voice, total yawnfest, but that was expected. Also the prettiest group on stage, she and her backing band were some lovely ladies. They covered one of my favorite Wilco songs, "Jesus Don't Cry," along with Johnny Cash's "Cry Cry Cry," which proved more entertaining than her own songs, largely due to the tempo. Plus, they seemed real irritated because one of the backups couldn't get her banjo in synch with the house audio.

Jack Johnson...I've got nothing against the guy, I'm just not in the fan club. There were a fair amount of people there just to see him, evidenced by the number that left after his set (mindblowing, the Beasties were closing!!). His "fans" are such a joke...j-crew hippies (half of which are closet card-carrying young Republicans) sporting their latest faux-vintage gear and blazin up j's all over (nothing against the practice, believe me, just not in a non-ventilated, closed, non-smoking coliseum where others might not want to be involuntarily shotgunned with your skunk). Just picture your average annoying, short-n-chubby girl flailing arms wildly (supposedly dancing) and throwing her half-stoned ass into any guy (or girl) that might give her some attention. I guess every 17 year old gets to be a moron once. He played his well-knowns, and a Jimmy Buffet cover. Yay.

Sheryl Crow (see above, but add the deafening sonic assault of a well-mic'ed band playing for the halftime show at the Super Bowl).

The Beastie Boys closed, and close they did. It was obvious that the majority of the crowd was simply waiting out the other acts to see Adam, Adam and Mike. They lived up to everything I thought their live show would be, minus instruments (so no Sabotage). Those guys might have lost some fans with "To the 5 Boroughs" but they've still got every bit of fun and energy for a live performance they had in their 20s. Played all my favorites, and Mix Master Mike was cra-azy on the tables (including a wicked party happy version of "Tom Sawyer"). Solid set, and gave the crowd what they wanted to see. Thank you guys, for picking Richmond on your impromptu tour.

Here's some pics:















Santogold





















Norah Jones
















Jack Johnson & Norah Jones





















Sheryl Crow
















Mike D

















Mike D & MCA
















Beastie Boys

Real Muthaph*kkin G's

So there's this commercial I keep seeing for the new Saints Row 2 video game, and it has one of the best Eazy-E songs in the background. If anyone ever said nothing good came from rap feuds, they never heard a single track off of It's On (Dr. Dre) 187um Killa, Eazy's diss-album reply to Dre's "Fuck wit Dre Day." I love the album, start to finish, but this track in particular is one of my favorite in the early 90's gangsta genre. I can't say much more than if you don't already have it, pick it up.

Here's the "Saints Row 2" trailer, just so you can see how bad-ass it is:

Weekend Wrap

So, a good relaxing weekend enhanced by a Hokies victory (though a scary one) and Oktoberfest (giggidy).

I've rediscovered a new interest in "The Boondocks," catching a few reruns on the rare chance [adultswim] isn't running the same episode of Robot Chicken for the 48th time or a marathon of Peter Griffin's best fart moments. My campus newspaper used to run that comic, which I enjoyed before the show aired, so I had looked forward to the cartoon upon announcement. Pretty funny, pretty intelligent...I'm probably a fan of anything Aaron McGruder would produce now. Just saying the names "Flonomical" and "Thugnificent" makes me chuckle. And through time-wasting Google searches at work, I found that there are 3 really solid mixtapes based on the series. Volume One is available through myspace, and Volume Two appears courtesy of illroots.



Hip Hop Dock-trine (Official Boondocks Mixtape) - (download)

Hip Hop Dock-trine 2 (The Saga Continues) - (disc one) (disc two)

While you're at illroots, be sure to check out "DOOMed," a pretty sweet mix of Metal Fingers that includes the Villan himself rhyming over M.I.A's "Paper Planes." Of course, DOOM could rhyme overtop of someone dumping out a bag of aluminum cans and it would sound sweet with that interlaced rhyme scheme, mouth full of cookies flow.

Shhhhh

I don't get out to the theater much unless I'm rolling on some free passes, but out and about with friends Saturday night brought me to "Burn After Reading," the latest comedy piece from the Cohen Brothers. After throwing down about 35 of my hard-earned bones on tix, drinks and an unnecessarily deep busket of popcorn, we climbed the stairs of one of the smaller screening rooms and rested 1 row below the top for a better viewing angle. The movie was okay, I'd push for about a 6/10 based on post-drink consensus. It's no Lebowski or O Brother, but it's definitely got some hilarious moments, drawn out with a lot of steady-cam dialogue free sequences.

What completely marred my experience was the utter lack of courtesy and consideration from those around me. Over both my left and right shoulders were two groups of high school kids who didn't shut up throughout the entire movie. Immediately to my left was some greaseball who had to keep asking plot point explanations from his skank girlfriend because he couldn't stop texting long enough to catch the story. Somewhere in our quadrant of the stadium seating, some jackass kept typing on his phone and didn't have the f*cking key-tone turned off. What kind of f*cktard actually enjoys hearing a *beep* every time they touch a f*cking key on their phone? Is this how we watch movies now? Wasn't there a time when people actually cared about what they just payed $20 to see? Thanks for the heightened audeince regulation Regal. All that loot for a show and you can't pay someone to drag these babies out when they get too fussy?

Happy Birthday

Last night, anyone watching MTV suffered through the 25th Annual Video Music Awards. In recent years, these inflated-egofests have grown increasingly beyond atrocious. This year, they completely outdid themselves.



A few questions, from start to finish: Was there no script? Did Russell Brand just show up and the producers say "Hey, just go with whatever?" Why couldn't Jaime Foxx stand still, much less stop doing a Busta impression? What was the deal with the performances on back lot sets that all looked like bad high school musicals? What teenage boy in their right mind wears a promise ring? Who were these grown men flocking to the Jonas Brothers? Why was Weezy's lack of performance the best of the night? How hilarious was it to see Slash laughing at Linkin Park on national television? How out-of-place did Slash look? Why wasn't Lupe Fiasco given the main stage? Have the producers not seen or heard of any Fiasco performances on the summer festival tour? How horrible was that Kid Rock performance? How blown out of proportion was that Kanye set? Didn't that song pretty much suck? Did his backup include the world's most famous bucket drummers? When will MTV stop embarassing itself and just focus on reality TV rich kids?

Unbiased Media Coverage

To take a break from hip-hop vids of yesteryear, here's a clip of Jon Stewart doing what he does best, bashing media. I love anytime anyone goes after FOX News.

Don't ask me to collab, me and you don't mesh

Ye ol posse rap remix. I remember the pre-internet/pre-youtube days when you couldn't find the remix as soon as it dropped. You heard it on the radio only late Friday nights, saw a video on MTV (that's dating myself), or came across it at your non-chain record shop. A friend's brother left a tape while he was home from college, you dubbed it and wore it out. Weiss has a good piece on "Swagger," the latest posse cut blasting through your 5 o'clock playlist. These four clowns have pretty much become out-of-touch with guys like me (skinny jeans?), so I only really dig on their older jams. But it reminds me of one of my favorite posse remixes ever.

I still get a little amped when this pops up on the shuffle, even if it Sean brings it in. Even that part gets me because of that Chappelle skit. This track really introduced me to Biggie (I'm pretty sure it got airplay a few months before "ready to die" came out) and is probably Busta's second best verse ever recorded. I think there's even a split-second shot of Doodlebug.

You got your Peanut Butter in my Chocolate...

The local modern rock corpo-station has been playing a 90's playlist this weekend, aptly titled "Smells like the 90's;" because, what more reminds anyone of the 90's than a reference to that deodorant phenomenon? So in the spirit of my 90's rap kick and the X's 90's rock weekend:



Ahh, the rap/rock crossover. Most hiphophistorians would claim the joining of Run-DMC and Aerosmith on "Walk this Way" to be the catalyst for two facets of music combining, enlightening fans and critics, and exposing more ears and opening more eyes and merging tastes. Subsequently, Limp Bizkit would be the downfall of this potentially beautiful friendship, and those of us whose collegiate years encompassed the dawn of a millenium would have to suffer hordes of douchebags packing our favorite bars and blasting pure incomprehensible garbage. Somewhere in the middle of that ride came a pretty decent collab of rap and rock for the soundtrack to a mediocre movie starring Academy Award winning actor Cuba Gooding Jr. Helmet makes House of Pain sound pretty raw and hardcore, Faith No More gives the Boo-Yaa TRIBE some pretty scary backing, Cypress Hill and Sonic Youth shared an ounce or two...and De La and Teenage Fanclub created this little gem.

Tounge Tied

Moving right along with the 90's, here's a track to bump in your rides or at your Labor Day cookout. Most people know Das EFX best for the backing chorus on the remix (or more popular version) of Ice Cube's "Check Yo Self." I know them for penning a track that I wore out as a cassingle, trying to get down all of the words and impress my friends on the basketball court in early middle school. "They Want Efx" is one of my favorite early 90's jams, particularly the remixed version.



Just listen to that bass line! Songs like this make you want to drive around with your friends, windows down and cruising a local strip on a Friday night looking for "something to do." Ahh, the days of gas-wasteful American attitude and teenage irresponsibility. On a side note, one of my favorite parts is where Skoob works "pretty sneaky sis" into one of the lines. I hated that game.